Things Gone, Memories Intact

Have you ever dreamed of living in a castle? One with rich tapestries hanging from the rafters and a roast goose on the spit over the fire? While, maybe I'll skip the goose on a spit and go for a viking stove, bosche dishwasher and sub-zero refrigerator.

Of course, a castle would mean more space to be filled, more cleaning, more stuff to throw out if it was -- say -- invaded by pests (aka bedbugs).

I just finished two days of mad cleaning of the fabrics in my apartment. Bed bugs in the office appear to have migrated to my castle. Dry, 20 minutes, high heat. there are about 80 -- ok, maybe 15 -- bags in my kitchen all sealed up. a bunch of stuff is at the dry cleaners with more to follow tomorrow. and countless things were tossed today. my paul simon and bruce springsteen t-shirts. gone. t-shirts from the trip to africa with lisa -- gone. hall high field hockey shirt. gone. columbia sweat shirts. gone. beanie babies. gone. gone. gone.

aah but the memories, they stay.....

Hall High Field Hockey: I was not meant to play a sport -- of this I am pretty sure. But Mr. C said play a sport, proves you're well-rounded and there began four years of, hmm, is sitting on the bench playing a sport? of course, Sally Warren needed people for the stars to play against and so I practiced and ran the burma and, all too often, wondered what it was all about. I still do.

1994 Africa Trip -- Apartheid ends. Rwanda genocide occurs. And there we were in Malawi -- also on the cusp of an election although it was clear who would win -- and in Zimbabwe where Mugabee reigned but not quite with the iron fist of today. that trip was bookended by lisa's affairs with Ron and Augustine. and i learned that one should always fly on the airline of the African country that you are departing from rather than the one you are going to because sometimes the planes just don't make it to you. And, that there is nothing finer than a glass of wine shared on the shores of lake malawi and a picture painted on a piece of cardboard by a small, thin boy.

Paul Simon Concert -- Rhythm of the Saints. FLOOR seats. need I say more?

Bruce Springsteen -- aah, the days of having to buy a ticket in person at a ticketron. the ticketron in Middletown, CT to be exact. we were in line with people who had driven from New Jersey and stopped in every ticketron along the way until they landed in this one. seats - yes, top of the stadium. Born in the USA Tour -- he sure looked good. He looked good last year too -- at age 60, he rocked Giant's Stadium just as he had done some 25 years ago. But, I could tell he was a little older. a little wiser. a little sadder in this post 9/11, sliding economy world, Iraq, Afghanistan War, BP oil spewing world that we now inhabit.

Beanie babies -- not the first of the must have toys but one that certainly had cross over appeal for adults. Mary, Julia and I must have hunted them for hours. I wonder where hers are now? I swear my favorite, the pink flamingo, gave me an injured look as i tossed him into the bag and booted the bag out the door today. It's about time I put childish things aside.

Gone also are the fake flowers -- they never really lived up to nature and so are no great loss other than that I never will be able to keep a live orchid live.

Gone too is the weight of all those things that I hadn't looked at in years. The things I thought I needed to remind me of what had been. It's all right here in my head and my heart.